Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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