We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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