apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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