just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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