Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
