that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
