He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
