BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
