Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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