No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize