totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
