That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
