I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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