my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
