brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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