ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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