Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
