I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
