You made me cry and you don't even care
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
