I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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