all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
