adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
