worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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