shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
