Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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