is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
