someone threw a dead crab at me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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