Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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