Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
tell me about the eggs
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