i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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