Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Damn victory sex feels great
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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