Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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