yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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