Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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