when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize