Cold hands, warm shart.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
