I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
