Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
