how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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