Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
