6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
