Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
