I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize