Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
