I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
