what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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