Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
