do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
