That's when you crack a 10am beer
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
