I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
