where am i from again
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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