Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
