there was a trapeze. enough said
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
