Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
