worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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