she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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