I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
