so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Alive.
So much puke
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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