if you like me you must not know who I am
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
