There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
