pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
