Will you blow on my dice?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize