You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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