they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
