when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
