Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
