ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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