I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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