It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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