Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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