you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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