So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
